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My Current Status: Struggling with the desire to return to drug use and my mental health

Hello Friends, It’s been a year now since I sought out on the path of ridding myself of my addictions and leading a sober life. Now it’s been a little over four months since I’ve freed myself of the hell that is benzodiazepine addiction. What a terrible year, something that I truly cannot put into […]

Read More My Current Status: Struggling with the desire to return to drug use and my mental health
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Returning Home

Driving down these old re-paved roads, tapered with potholes and scrapes from re-paving, along with the abundant burn out marks, I can’t help but remember how much I hate this town; these road aren’t the same as I remember, but they are the same in my mind. Dirty, filthy roads. rampant with my own personal […]

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Like cogs in the wheel of life, some of us just don’t fit quite as well; A brief history of my life as an addict, lost love, and my path towards sobriety.

It’s funny how so many of us as adolescents, full of wonder and creativity jump face first into the world; full of dreams, goals and the greatest of intentions. Not really knowing what to expect but eager to experience the unknown. Like being terrified as a child to jump off the bridge into the creek […]

Read More Like cogs in the wheel of life, some of us just don’t fit quite as well; A brief history of my life as an addict, lost love, and my path towards sobriety.

They say it’s never too late

It’s never too late; if you ask them they’ll most likely tell you, “It’s never too late”. In some aspects I suppose they’re right. I have the choice to make changes now that will impact my life for the better; such as living a healthier lifestyle now in order to set myself up for having […]

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Suppresion

  To suppress things until they almost aren’t even there, until  you almost forget that they even exist; that’s the life I lived until the present. My addictions were my attempt at filling the hole that I always felt and never understood. It was my attempt at self medicating to forget the emptiness that I […]

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Addiction and Self Reflection

  I’m currently several months along in the process of tapering off a rather high tolerance benzo addiction. Tomorrow, I intend to step down to 7.5mgs of Diclazepam a day. During this time, I’ve been completely clean of everything but Diclazepam and Diazepam. Neither of these get me high in any way and I have […]

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The struggle of a propensity towards addiction and an accidental addiction to Benzo’s; trying to get my life together

  A little bit of back story for you good folks. I’ve been an addict for about 8 years now, I’ve used a wide range of drugs but my only true addiction was to opiates and my fallback; alcohol. I am finally realizing that my propensity for using these substances was due to my underlying […]

Read More The struggle of a propensity towards addiction and an accidental addiction to Benzo’s; trying to get my life together