Sometimes in life it feels like you’re standing in the middle of a storm. Surrounded on all sides by large dark clouds. Life can really turn into quite the shit-show at times, especially if we let the storm grow until the point of breaking. It’s like the metaphor of the snowball rolling down the hill, […]Read More Dark Clouds
Every day seems harder and harder. I’m so close to being done with my benzo taper but it’s become a tremendously difficult task at the end; It was like I could see the light, but now it seems farther away with every turn of the world. It’s been almost 8 months now and I can’t […]Read More It’s Just Life
As many of you know I am roughly 6 to maybe 7 months along on a benzodiazepine taper. I just finally got down to a legally prescribable amount and my doctor switched me from Valium, which I was taking in conjunction with Diclazepam, to Ativan, or Lorazepam. She also prescribed me Lyrica, or Pregabalin, to […]Read More Benzo tapers: Using pregabalin in Conjunction
I just recently visited the private NPR-C whom I’ve been seeing to assist with my benzodiazepine taper and also with really my entire mental wellbeing. It was a great visit. We made some medication changes and I am finally on a taper dosage that can legally be prescribed. No more research chemical benzo’s for me! This […]Read More Current Update: Everything I’ve been doing is finally paying off
This coming week on Wednesday the 20th I go back to my NPR-C after two months of not seeing her. She has allowed me the freedom to manage my taper on my own without restraints; and to this point it has paid off. The last time I posted an entry regarding my progress was on […]Read More Closer and Closer to My Goal; An update on my benzo recovery and asking for advice
Today, I’ve completely broken my taper. I began my morning with throwing up the medication that I had previously taken. I felt the emptiness from the start of the day; Alone and isolated. From the moment I rolled out of bed, I knew where I stood. Broken, fractured, and hopefully trying to repair what is […]Read More And so I slip; every day isn’t a good day
Since beginning this process, my journaling and introspection has been the greatest key to my progress. Counseling has helped, so have medication changes, but truly trying to understand myself has been the key to overcoming the addictions that have controlled my life; You have to learn to be completely honest with yourself, and it doesn’t […]Read More Self reflection; The addicts greatest enemy and only salvation.
My time spent using etizolam was nearly a complete blur. It was one of the darkest holes I had ever found myself in to date. When I finally realized what I had done to myself, I knew I had to find a way out. For those of you that don’t know, etizolam is technically a […]Read More My Benzodiazepine Recovery: An update on my benzo taper and current status