Every day seems harder and harder. I’m so close to being done with my benzo taper but it’s become a tremendously difficult task at the end; It was like I could see the light, but now it seems farther away with every turn of the world. It’s been almost 8 months now and I can’t […]Read More It’s Just Life
I’ll catch you when the next sunset comes around. That was essentially my prerogative for as long as I can remember. And if you caught me in the dark you’d see parts of the real me, until the night wore thin and we’d all shuffle off to our little holes in the wall. It was […]Read More Crumbling: My Life In Pieces
When we are finally sober; where exactly do we start. I suppose I’ve never really touched on this topic in my blog. If you were in the grips off addiction like I was, you more than likely feel like you lost a lot of yourself and a lot of years: your character, personal ideation, personality, life; […]Read More Where to now
So much of my depression was encompassed by the feeling of emptiness. I didn’t really want to do anything; I had no interest in the things that I once enjoyed. I only wanted opiates to temporarily fill my brain with dopamine. Once I was fixed up all of that love came back to me; the […]Read More Emptiness And The Start of My Opiate Addiction
I just recently visited the private NPR-C whom I’ve been seeing to assist with my benzodiazepine taper and also with really my entire mental wellbeing. It was a great visit. We made some medication changes and I am finally on a taper dosage that can legally be prescribed. No more research chemical benzo’s for me! This […]Read More Current Update: Everything I’ve been doing is finally paying off
This coming week on Wednesday the 20th I go back to my NPR-C after two months of not seeing her. She has allowed me the freedom to manage my taper on my own without restraints; and to this point it has paid off. The last time I posted an entry regarding my progress was on […]Read More Closer and Closer to My Goal; An update on my benzo recovery and asking for advice
First and foremost, I am not a counselor by any means and these thoughts and this advice all comes from my own personal experiences. I’ve been a drug addict for roughly 8 years, and am currently about 6 months along in a benzodiazepine taper; and these last 6 months have been the hardest I’ve ever […]Read More So You Want To Be Sober?
I’ve been an addict for a long time, primarily with opiates which I’ve been free of mostly for about 3 years now despite the occasional binge and alcohol which I used daily up until recently. Alcohol was never my addiction though, it was only an escape. Other than that I’ve abused just about every drug […]Read More Sobriety has to be selfish
A brief history of my life as an addict, lost love, and my path towards sobriety. This is by far the most personal post I’ve ever made on my blog. If you’re interested about the life and evolution of an addict all the while struggling with depression and anxiety, please click the link below and […]Read More LIKE COGS IN THE WHEEL OF LIFE, SOME OF US JUST DON’T FIT QUITE AS WELL.