Waves; The Internal Battle for Happiness

What is life if it doesn’t coalesce with the ebb and flow of  happiness and sadness? The two emotions hopelessly drawn together forever in our sentient minds; Like the electric touch of a magnet meeting it’s opposite. We as humans like to believe that happiness is our true goal in life, naively neglecting the fact that emotions are fleeting; They come and go, just like the light and the dark.

For most of my life I’ve changed my mind on a dime, thousands of times. I wanted to be happy. I searched for it in so many ways. Through drugs and women, money and possessions. But none of those things in the end made me happy.

I was prone to the feeling of ecstasy at times, my neurons firing dopamine at an elated level; Just as most of us are. But that feeling has never lasted. Soon, I would always crash. Sometimes my lows weren’t that bad. I could shrug them off and carry on as usual. But some of them felt deeper than the mariana trench; the darkness that made me crawl in my bed and sleep for days.

Looking back at my life, I’ve realized I was always chasing something that wasn’t truly definite. I feel like most of us grow up with this engrained drive to think that happiness is the ultimate goal in life. But the fact is that happiness, just like sadness, is fleeting. We as humans were not meant to be happy all the time; we weren’t hard-wired for that. If we were then where would all of the great inventions of our time come from. I guarantee you it wasn’t a happy man or woman sitting at their desk singing jubilee.

Strife is what brings us power in this world; without it we are naive, ignorant, and unsatisfied. The wave of happiness and sadness is apart of the human experience. Some of us have to endear more than others, but nonetheless it is always a lesson if you view it that way.

I believe that the true goal in life is satisfaction; and I don’t mean being satisfied by being complacent. I mean the kind of satisfaction that you get from achieving something that your heart so desires. If you have goals, you are striving for satisfaction; And when you attain your aspirations, so will follow happiness. But just because you achieve one goal doesn’t mean that you should stop there. We should always be reaching higher, even if it means that sometimes we will fall.

Happiness will come and go in our lives; Sometimes we will feel like we hit the jackpot and other times we will lose our shoes along with our pockets. In life things don’t always work out the way we envision in our minds: And it hurts. But so long as you wake up another day, you have a chance at setting things right for yourself. Nothing in life is permanent despite how much our human ego’s long for it to be so.

That is why there should never be an end to our ambition. Through satisfaction we achieve happiness. Even if for a momentary lapse in time.

A Half Broken Mind



4 thoughts on “Waves; The Internal Battle for Happiness

  1. My biggest fear and inclination to abuse substances are grounded by my refusal to be at the mercy of my moods. I want a pill for every will. I live in terror of experiencing an emotion I can’t tolerate or medicate. It’s a problem: always trying to go anywhere without an adequate stock of shit in the event I want to proactively prevent an unwanted emotion.

    1. I can definitely relate to that. With that being said, that manner of self suppresion is extremely dangerous though. In my experience of trying to mask all of my negative emotions, drug abuse ended up being far more detrimental to my emotional well being than actually dealing with the things that I was trying to mask. I’m officially sober these days and I have to say that after 10 years of addiction to both alcohol and drugs, both illicit and pharmaceutical, I am in a far better state of mind than I ever have been. I still struggle with depression and anxiety but it is nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I wish you the best of luck.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.