Love comes in many different forms as you all may know; It can be romantic, platonic, familial, a love towards an animal, or even inanimate. The power of love is literally limitless; we as humans can love anything and everything in the known universe.
Our human brains are hardwired towards self-preservation and for more reasons than I can count we build emotional walls to protect ourselves. We build these walls to shield ourselves from hurt, shame, humiliation, and the list goes on; All too often the greatest loss from this is love.
For me, I built very high walls early on in life due to several different factors; failed relationships that I truly desired, the loss of close friends, and the fear of not being understood by other people. Later on in life my walls grew even higher due to my depression, anxiety, and drug addiction.
My addictions were my outlet and helped to add support to those barricades within my own psyche. I was terrified of letting people in because I thought that when they looked inside, at the person that I really was, they’d drop me like a hot potato. It’s the reason I only have a very small group of close friends, mostly all from my adolescents, and copious acquaintances. I’ve lived in a new city now for coming up on two years, and just within the last 6 months made my first friend outside of my workplace.
I isolated myself for so many reasons and looking back now I realize that I missed a hell of a lot of opportunities because of it. We are all so afraid of loving and I think that is primarily because we are terrified of that love not being reciprocated. Obviously at this point I’m referring to love between humans, whether romantic or platonic. We fear not being understood and fear putting ourselves out there emotionally when there’s a good chance that we will be let down or not receive the same kind of love we desire in return.
I try not to look at love this way these days; For me I suppose, it doesn’t matter whether love is reciprocated anymore. We are social creatures and love plays a major role in that aspect of our existence. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that if we truly intend to live life, and I mean to its fullest extent, we can’t fear these failures because it only hinders us. The best kind of love, and I think the purest form of it, is love with no intentions of being loved in return. We don’t get to decide who we love and who loves us; All we can do is love and let that path take us wherever it may lead.