To suppress things until they almost aren’t even there, until you almost forget that they even exist; that’s the life I lived until the present. My addictions were my attempt at filling the hole that I always felt and never understood. It was my attempt at self medicating to forget the emptiness that I felt inside; crutches and mistakes that ultimately led to my addictions. It was my own erroneous reasoning that fueled my problems.
It’s hard to reach that sense of clarity in which you peel away the things that you’ve been hiding from yourself. It’s painful; I suppose that’s why so many people fall into the perpetual cycle of sobriety and relapse.
I’m a work in progress, but my goal has been set and eventually I believe I’ll find the finish line.